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When it comes to bodies, genders, and sexual desires, society can be rather intolerant of difference. Although many people are able to manage difference on their own, many others need someone to talk to about it. Sometimes a sympathetic ear permits a person to speak aloud about this aspect of themselves for the first time in their lives. On the one hand, these labels can be useful in that they allow other people to understand what we mean when we talk about it.
The upside of this is that it helps us to find others who feel the same way because communities form around the labels. On the other hand, someone might feel as though none of the labels is a good match.
Unable to apply a commonly understood term to their sexual desires, such a person can feel invisible and isolated. Another problem is that our sexual desires i. Once again shame and secrecy can build up around these feelings of difference. Certain body types or body characteristics are portrayed as sexy and others as repulsive or boring.
Negative feedback loops can develop in which we neglect ourselves, which does nothing for our sexual attractiveness! This can lead to a vicious circle. Talking to someone about it can be the first step in setting up a more positive feedback loop.
One of the things that most of us take for granted is that we have a body which is clearly male or female. Being born intersex is more common than most people realise; in fact it occurs with 1 in live births. These babies often have surgery on their genitals at a very young age and are raised as the assigned sex male or female.